I used to keep myself excessively busy. Never home long enough to get comfortable; always with a plan. Lately, I have had to force myself to slow down and create space despite every instinct to self sabotage. This has meant seeing less friends (and sometimes losing friends), declining events or volunteer opportunities and other chances to socialize.

Just like caffeine, at first this felt like a personal loss and deprivation. Now, the creation of space is an opportunity to explore what my needs really are. I was so concerned about making other people feel like I didn’t have enough time for them and hurting their feelings. Which is extremely egotistical if you think about it. Now, I have realized the importance of creating that time for myself so that I can be in the right head space to be there for the friends who are there for me.

Sunday’s have become a sacred time for me to get recharged. Instead of coffee, I have been making a rooibos tea latte, a suggestion from my dear friend Nicole. Here is the recipe:

Boil water and add: the rooibos tea bag, one clove, a cinnamon stick, cardamon, a star of anise, a peppercorn and a dollop of maple syrup. I add in some steamed almond milk so that it is frothy. I like it spicy, so I always double up on the peppercorn and cloves.

Following my tea I have been taking the time to workout, and sit in the sauna at the gym. The time in the sauna offers a quiet similar to meditation. I have never been a meditator. I always get lost in my head and make up more plans; I am in a perpetual state of writing to-do lists. In the sauna though, I take time to stretch and let my mind wander. To stop myself from reverting to the obsessive to-do list, I write out the list in to my phone so that my mind can be free to wander through the heat waves.

I cannot write a post about pampering myself without sharing my skin care routine. Marie Claire wrote an article about how skin care has become a part of some women’s self-care routine. Genius! More opportunities to buy stuff! That said, I have fallen for First Aid Beauty’s peel; nothing works like it… just ignore the burn.

Creation of a routine that was centered around me has been huge in the effort to keep myself sane. Having free time carved out in the schedule to get myself organized, blog or do nothing at all is what has given me the strength to go to work, and still be a relatively active family member and friend to those I love. The last two years have been a real learning curve for me in finding who my true friends are. Friendship loss was a real shock to the system; but what I have discovered is that without them, I have more time to spend on true friendships. Long term friendships have periods where one person requires more support than the other and that’s ok. The danger lies in when it is consistent or if there is a lack of appreciation. There was no turning back once this door was opened. Today, I have less time for everything, but the time I do spend on people are those who are as invested in me as I am them.

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