Sometimes I just want to crawl deep inside despair. The fear of having hope and trust and then having reality take it away seems unworthy of my stability. I want to stay inside my cave where I take no risks and allow no error or failure. This week, I received some good news. My electrical …
Category: living
Women who fuck with fear
Spending an exorbitant amount of time in my new favourite self care place, my bath, has given me a lot of time to read. I started the year with a history brief on the teamsters and the story of Frank, the Irishman. A solid start, crime based history lesson of the teamsters in the United …
Practicing Vulnerability
I stood in front of a room of strangers and shared that I twitch. Have I gone mad? Probably. My adventure down the path of allowing myself to be vulnerable continues to be a hike up a steep hill. Every step is painful, but I can feel myself reaching the peak where I can be …
Keep moving, my friend
At the beginning, I stopped seeing friends and communicating with family. I spent all my time with a heating pad in bed or in my bath, a new found place of peace. Eventually, I had to get used to my body’s rebellion and continue living my life. Seeing friends, volunteering, educational undertakings, is slowly becoming …
When to keep your mouth shut
My first instinct was to genuinely share my twitching situation with my employer and colleagues. This was met with unfettered kindness. Being honest has been instrumental in managing my schedule in order to make appointments. A couple weeks in, I began to read MS resources. They are exceptionally organized and those resources have been truly …
On being open; even if it means having a needle in your upper buttocks
Acupuncture has never been on my to-do list. I was a little shocked when those little needles entered the top of my right butt cheek. The electronic buzzes throughout my body as the needles were linked up to a shock machine felt akin to someone tapping me lovingly; many small love taps. Laying on my …
Continue reading On being open; even if it means having a needle in your upper buttocks
Buying into that self-care crap
Our friend Robert died of Parkinsons this year. He was one hell of a character. Favourite word: fuck. Favourite way to spend time with us: teasing. He would tell you what he thought without fear of consequence, debate no matter how outlandish, and lavished in a friend’s comeback. He was a force. And I will …
The majority of people are kind
Throughout this experience, I have been overwhelmed with the kindness of others. A husband who supports me without failing to push me out of bed and not allowing me to hang out in a depressive state for too long. Family taking an active part in the journey, checking in and ensuring I am keeping up …
Focusing on what you can control
Feeling like my body is the one in charge, I have started to make decisions based on what I can control. Exercise has increased to 5 times a week with a mixture of boxing, swimming, jogging and weight training. Reassured by the ability to order my body around, I have thrown myself into it; because …
Life can suck but you sure can make it worse
Fearing paralysis, I sent myself into an absolute frenzy and panic. This aggravated my symptoms to a whole new level. A very friendly doctor in emergency saw me, and conducted a number of physical tests. She calmly told me that my reflexes and muscles were responding in a healthy way, and it was unlikely to …
Continue reading Life can suck but you sure can make it worse
Me Without Caffeine 